There's a first for everything!

Happy Sunday everyone! I'm in a good mood today (yay!).. Here's a little recap of my week:

Last weekend I went horseback riding and tubing for the first time ever! For my best friend's 18th birthday we all went to Helen, GA to go horseback riding then tubing on the Chattahoochee River. First let me say that I grew up in New York before I moved to GA. The only time I ever saw a horse was at the zoo. And although we used to live right by the Atlantic Ocean and I can swim, I NEVER dared to actually get in the water (besides my feet). To this day, I still feel some type of way about any kind of natural water (oceans, rivers, lakes, etc.). I just don't feel safe in them. But I sucked all that up for my friend and went tubing for 2 hours on the Chattahoochee River. It wasn't so bad until I had to get out of my tube when I got stuck on rocks and such. I really tried to avoid getting out. The rocks were so slimy and there were fish (and we saw a few SNAKES) swimming around lol.. I just felt more comfortable IN the tube. I'm glad I did it instead of being a little punk though. Lol, but the horseback riding was SO peaceful and relaxing! The scenery was so beautiful and my horse (his name was Edowa) was so sweet! I was actually nervous when we got there and saw the horses up close.. I didn't even want to touch them but once I got on everything changed. I really, really would love to go again!


Also in the past week, me and my boyfriend got back together. I didn't tell you guys that we even broke up lol.. but we did about 2/3 weeks ago. His 18th birthday was on Thursday (September 13th) and we got back together the next day. I'm not really surprised about it.. I knew that things were just too overwhelming for a little while for us to be together but now that we've settle down and adjusted, everything's fine!

Now for the cons of my week. So, last weekend I took advantage of e.l.f.'s online sale/deal. If you spent $20 dollars on any products you were eligible to win the fall favorites collection for free with a code that they gave you. I was very excited about this because I needed new products and brushes so it was an awesome deal for me! I did everything that was required and confirmed my order (which only came to $26.95 with shipping, normally would be about $50). It took about a week for my package to come but I was really happy when it came.. until I opened the box. I recieved all the items I actually paid for but they did not give me my free fall favorites collection. Instead they gave me a whole bunch of other products I did not order or intend on getting. I was very confused and disappointed by this so I checked the website. On the fall favorites collection product page, it did say that if items were out of stock they would be substituted. But, the items weren't out of stock when I ordered them. This made me angry so I sent a LONG email to customer service and I am currently waiting for a reply. I will keep you all updated with this discrepancy! But, on the other hand, I am very pleased with the products I did recieve (correctly):

I've already done my nails (inspiration on Pinterest) and used the makeup and seem to have no problem with it (yet). Speaking of Pinterest, I would love if you all followed me at lovekiara and on Instagram at lovekiara as well! And that basically concludes my week.. Hope you all are having a great day!

The good and the.. not so good

Well, my first week of senior year is complete, with 30-something more to go, lol. Overall this week was nice and easy. I love my schedule and most of my classes. The things I'm most excited about this year are senior activities, cheerleading, and being on the newspaper staff. Some of you may be wondering why I'm excited about being on the newspaper staff but it's because Journalism (with concentration in Public Relations) is going to be my major next Fall. So I'm just excited to get a head start! I get my license Wednesday, so I'll be driving to school for the rest of the year. That's kind of exciting too. Mostly everything is going good except...

My boyfriend moved into his dorm room yesterday :( I wasn't there to say goodbye because he left while I was in school. That bothered me a lot but we talked as soon as I got out of school, and he told me about packing and how the dorm/campus was and all that. He's extremely excited, while I'm not. I tried to be happy for him but I cried after we hung up. I'm just afraid of how college might change us. Of course he told me not to worry and that everything will be just fine but words don't really work with me. I have to see it to believe it. So, I guess I just have to try to cope with things and wait and see how everything turns out. I just know it's going to be really hard for the both of us, and I'm gonna try to stay positive no matter what happens.

Prom 2012

Prom 2012 -- one of the best nights we've had. Still can't believe he's going to be graduating soon, and leaving me with a whole year left of high school. Definitely a great memory :)

Current relationship

I love my relationship, as everyone probably knows because of how much I talk about it on here. Ironically, I sent him this yesterday & it should pretty much explain how I feel about him: I'm sitting here trying to come up with the words to explain my love for you and just like any other time, I can't seem to figure it out. This is the craziest & strongest feeling I've ever felt in my entire life. I ask myself over and over: how can one person make me feel so happy? So lucky? So .. Attached? How can I love every single thing about somebody? How can one person make me completely forget how life was before I met them? How can one person become just as important & necessary in my life as air, water, and food? You introduced a new kind of happy, a new kind of love to me. What is love without you? I can't imagine myself with anyone other than you. I can't see myself loving someone the way that I love you. This is a feeling you experience once in a lifetime.. mine came early and I'm never letting it go. Ever. You are everything. Everything is you. I can't go a minute without you crossing my mind. I need you. You complete me. I would be completely broken if you ever leave me. I love you more than anyone can comprehend, and I always will.

My Addicting, Unhealthy Relationship

My boyfriend (same one from this post) and I have been in a relationship for 11 months, soon to be a year on March 11th. Although we are a young couple, we've been through hell and back. Our relationship has survived a lot of obstacles that most relationships don't. And I do believe I'm in love with him, but is our relationship healthy? In my opinion, no.

The most common relationship "maker or breaker" is trust. If there is no trust, there is no relationship, right? I've already said we've been through a lot.. And we're still together at the end of the day.. But those "obstacles" definitely had an impact on our relationship, good and bad. The good effect is that we've actually become more aware of how strong our feelings are for one another & we've developed a tighter bond/connection with each other. The bad effect is that my trust level for him changed drastically. Over the past few months, it has gotten much better but around November and December was when it was the worst. I could not trust him whatsoever because of his continuous lying and betrayal towards me. I still do have some trust issues that needs resolving but I'm really working on it. But this is why I believe our relationship is a little unhealthy.. I don't fully trust him like I used to which leads to extra stress on me because I'm constantly hoping and trying to prevent him from hurting me again. He hates that I don't always trust him, but he can't complain too much because it was partially his fault. I contradict myself because although I haven't gained all my trust for him back, I love that boy till the death of me and really never wanna leave him. We're making a huge effort to get past the things that's happened. It's working so far, but it takes time and patience. Time and patience :)

How Do I Know Who's The One?!

I've always been the one to not really care if I had a boyfriend or not. I've actually only been in 4 relationships, 2 of which were in middle school so they don't really count. They weren't all that serious, so I'm not gonna acknowledge them in this post. In both of my serious relationships I've had (well actually I'm currently in the second one now ^.^ ), I've fallen DEEP for the boy. Let me reiterate on that real quick.. When I say deep, I'm not talking about the commonly claimed "head over heels" type deep. It's a bit more than that, I can't even explain it fully. It's as if I'm stuck inside some kind maze with him and can't find my way out because I don't even remember how I got that far into it.. But I don't mind one bit because I'm happy with simply being with him :s My mind forces me to believe that I wouldn't be able to survive without him. And I go right along with it without any second thought because I'm blinded from it all.

When I was in my first serious relationship, I thought the feeling was me "finding the one". At first, I had doubts because it's very rare to find your one and only on your first try AND at the age of 14 x_x  Lol, anyone else would have easily known that it wasn't gonna happen, but not me. I was young (I still am) and in love. I didn't care what anyone said and/or thought. That relationship lasted 9 confusing months. I cheated on him, multiple times.. And that's when I started to realize that I was young and that I haven't had enough experience with other boys to determine that he was the one. In the beginning, I had fallen very deeply for him but as time passed I realized that I was only in love with the idea of him being that special one.

Now with my current boyfriend, Nick, it's a little different. We've been dating for a great 4 months and I plan on it lasting much longer. I have no doubt in my mind that I'm in love with him :love:  But now, I'm older & more aware of the difference between love and infatuation. I don't make the same mistakes as I did in my other relationship, because I've learned from them. And just because my first serious boyfriend wasn't "the one", doesn't mean I give up all hope for Nick. I believe we'll be together for a long time, and if we're meant to be then it'll last until we're walking down that aisle. My mom always tells me that "I'll meet plenty more guys in college" but I'm just gonna let whatever happens happen. If he is truly meant for me, everything will work out just fine. Not stressin' at all.

Yes, I'm only 16, and most people think this is too young of an age to be truly in love. But love is ageless. And no, I'm not "searching" for love. I'm in no rush to get married or anything, I'm just going with the flow. This is just a little touch on my past and how I learned what love truly is, for myself.  :happy:

What are your thoughts and/or beliefs about love?

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