Wanna know what really irritates me? Judgmental people -_- People who sit there, and constantly criticize others because of their looks, their personality, their actions, etc. I mean, I know everybody has judged somebody several times in their life but some people do it excessively. And that really irks me.
The first problem I have with it is that majority of the time, the critic doesn't even know the person they're talking about. They might know their name and other basic information but they don't know what that person has been through and/or is going through in their life. So why are you judging them? I never really understood how people can do it SO often. Is it really that important to you? I do think it's a comfort zone to some people.. It makes them feel better about themselves. But honestly, everybody has been through something and you never know someone's situation. Not everyone knows your situation either, which leads me to my second problem.
No one wants to be judged, including you. If someone had a problem with something you did, would you want them to judge you? Would you want them to belittle you because of something that's perfectly fine to you? No. So what gives you the right to judge others? Just because you may not understand why someone does something or acts a certain way doesn't mean you can talk down about it/them. You don't know what it's like to live their life. If they feel comfortable with it, let them be. Why do you even care? If it has nothing to do with you and your life, why even bother? Worry about yourself.
There are other ways to express how you feel about someone and their actions. Before you judge someone, try asking them about it. Try understanding their point of view, ask them why. Some things might be personal and they might not want to give you that information, but you have to respect that. I'm sure people would rather you ask them about their actions/decisions rather than you criticizing them about it. It would make things a lot easier. I understand that some aspects, such as looks, can't always be questioned.. But, if you don't like the way someone looks, then leave it alone. There's no need to talk about it because I'm sure everyone doesn't think you're the most attractive person in the world either.
*Sigh* Bottom line: Treat others how you want to be treated. Simple as that! ;)
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Great post, Kiara. People need to get slapped sometimes because they don't think judging people is bad. Not everyone is going to be pretty or have the best personality. Not everyone is going to have the same hobbies/interests as everyone else. People are different. I wonder how those who excessively judge others even make friends...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, people need to mind their own business and keep their judging aside. There is no need to judge every person in sight. They need to care about themselves and not others.
I feel you on this, Kiara! This is something that bothers me as well. What bothers me even more is the fact that sometimes the critic judges someone about something that they do themselves. Hypocrites or "blind" people don't sit well with me and it's just so unfortunate that some people have to judge others to boost themselves up. Like, who are YOU to judge?
ReplyDeleteFact is though, judging is here to stay and you can't teach people how not to do it. Haters gon' hate and people are gonna talk. Sigh.
P.s. It feels good to be reading your posts again. I don't know if you remember me...
I have to agree with you on this. That's one thing that I can't stand. I have some coworkers like this. Whenever we get someone new, they like to talk about that person, without even talking to them. It's always, "she looks ghetto" or something negative.
ReplyDeleteBut like Jay said...haters gon' hate and people are gonna talk.
Your layout looks better each time I come here! lol. :)
ReplyDeleteWell if the world was more like you, it would be a better place! I feel the same way you do. Most people can't take what they do to others, I noticed that. When you do it back to them they get mad. So, it's definitely a weakness or like you said, a comfort zone. They do it because they want the attention off themselves. Some people just have issues in their own life so they have to find everything negative in others. Those kind of people, they'll get what's coming to them.
The world will never stop being a judgmental place, but we can start with ourselves. Change starts with one. ;)
Yes! People fail to see what it's like to be on the other side.
ReplyDeleteI know I can be judgmental, but I have the common sense and manners to keep it to myself and not start drama!
I can totally relate to you dislike of judgemental people. I see people like that sometimes on Twitter, they always have somebody (or something) to insult or criticize and I genuinely wonder how they have the energy to hate so much.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I think it's just about insecurities. The people who judge all the time are the people who don't feel good about themselves. I mean, if you did feel content with yourself, you wouldn't feel the need to just criticize others. :S
'Treat others how you want to be treated' - that was exactly my thought as I read this blog. People just don't put themselves in other's shoes. Dx
Uuuh, tell me about it. I know nobody's perfect, but I really try not judge people at all... It's just too stupid and childish. Unfortunately, people are judgmental by their own nature. But like you said, we need to learn to treat people the same way we want to be treated!
ReplyDeleteNice topic. :D
People are entitled to their own opinions but, if you don't have any nice to say, don't say it at all. :rollseyes:
ReplyDeleteWish a lot of people could live by that rule. There are jerks everywhere, you can't do anything about it but you can at least contribute to lessen the amount of jerks by not being one yourself.
Of course, everyone has judged someone in their lifetime. But as you mentioned, when it's done all the time, that's when it's a problem. I can understand someone pointing out something that's obvious, but there's a thin line that's often crossed.
ReplyDeleteI think it stems from people who are unhappy with themselves. They build themselves up by tearing others down. I try my hardest to disassociate myself with those type of people.
I completely agree. As somebody who is commonly judged (I mean, I do have blue hair, a timid personality to strangers, and a loud mouth when it comes to areas of academia), I really appreciate it when people realize that the judgement hurts. I work at a day camp, and I remember this one time this boy, who was probably about 11 years old, came up to me choking back tears in order to be "manly" in front of his harassers. They made fun of his legs, saying they looked like scales. They didn't know that his legs had some disease and he couldn't help it, and he had been made fun of it most of his life. He thought those guys where his friends. In that situation, it was really difficult to deal with what to do. I mean, the boys didn't mean to offend him, nor did they realize he had been teased about it for so long or that it was a disease. Then again, even if it was poor hygiene that's not something that you should tease somebody about. And teasing, in itself, is unacceptable as a general rule.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Tina that people have their own opinions. I, for one, am very opinionated. I suppose that's why I always sound like I'm lecturing, but I never mean it that way. It's just how I come off when I talk, because my opinions are strong and I like to state them as clearly as possible. I am also a firm believer in the 'golden rule', which perhaps comes with the territory of being a camp counselor. If you don't want to be treated like a load of crap, you should probably stop treating people like a load of crap.
Good blog.
I think you are right, no one should judge not even us.
ReplyDeleteAnd totally, ask someone first before you make a judgement.
I am definitely learning that. I have a lot of resentment in my life from childhood. If I could clear up those things by simply asking some questions, instead of that person being wrong and I need figure out a way to avoid them, I would totally pick that path.
I've also learned, that if I don't like the way someone talks about me or makes me feel, I can fix it by separating and getting away from that person. That they aren't responsible for fixing my hurt feelings, even by stopping their criticism. I am responsible for fixing my hurt feelings. They decided to be the critic in my life and I won't judge them or try to change them. I need to be around people who appreciate me and like me for who I am. And when I'm around them I find I can be around the people that criticize me too, because I know they don't have the full story.